I am going to be real here: Chris and I give each other a hard time a lot. If you spend time around us, you'd get the impression we don't like each other very much. To us, bickering is affectionate. A challenge of sorts to keep our minds sharp....or something. We both also like to be right and will argue a point until the bitter end because that is just who we are. 90% of the time, this works for us. In our minds, it isn't fighting and no one gets mad. It's just fun banter.
Here's the thing though. Lately, I've been giving myself this assignment to just say "ok" or "yes" to Chris more. I can be a sassy pants about things and since our relationship is partly built on the idea that we always have to be challenging, I've let it seep into places where it shouldn't. Like, really f-ing dumb stuff that I should just be ok with doing if he asks.
Take out the trash
unload the dishwasher
call so and so about whatever
And I've just really started to annoy myself and Chris with all of it. I don't even have the "he does it too" defense. Or the "well I do most of the stuff around here" defense. Handy as they would be , they just don't work.
It really just comes down to this: I am just a bitch sometimes just to be difficult because I don't want to be "tamed" or whatever. A small side effect of the feminist movement (yes, small) is the idea that women can't do things considered wifey or in servitude of a husband. You could NEVER accuse Chris of being the kind of guy who expects the housewifey persona from me but he does expect respect and household chore equality without me being an asshole. I must say I've gotten a lot better about doing stuff around the house but the next step is not being difficult for the hell of it if I'm sitting on my ass doing nothing when he asks for something.
Now I'm not saying I calculate when I'm going to be difficult about small stuff.That would be a totally different level of stupid entirely. For me, it has become this insidious habit that leaps out of my mouth before my brain can tell me to shut the hell up and just say ok to whatever small thing Chris has asked me to do. Not everything needs to be a discussion or a debate. Most things don't deserve a backhanded remark or a yes laced with contempt and jerkiness.
Just a simple yes will do and I will endeavor to be better about it.
Maybe you could call it a new years resolution but for me, this is about taking control of something that can make Chris and our marriage a little bit happier in the long run.